Make Bread, Not Buns

That is a "loaf" of Fast White Bread from the Joy of Cookingthat is obviously not quite a loaf. You see, I've never actually made yeasted bread that wasn't the infamous No Knead Bread, being slightly overwhelmed by the kneading process. Now that I have a powerful mixer with an enormous dough hook, it's less intimidating. Nevertheless, I apparently didn't understand that Bread Dough Does Not Act Like Cake Dough. It doesn't melt down and even out in the oven. No sir. It comes out looking like butt cheeks. Like butt cheeks though, I was able to sandwich things between it. Well, slices of it. Okay, I'm just going to stop writing now. I'm "learning" about wine. Yep.